I have seen many people joining various sanghas with an ego centered attitude. They expect the sangha to do things for them, to treat them in a certain way, and they are never satisfied with receiving the teaching and just the teaching. They don’t understand that to receive the teaching and being corrected in matters related with the teaching is the greatest compassion they receive in this life, even more than the compassion their parents showed to them. The gift of Dharma is the highest gift, said the Buddha, because it gives you freedom from all births and deaths. It is a pity that some do not appreciate the compassion that is showed to them by being offered the gift of Dharma.

The role of the sangha is not to be a substitute for your family, for your husband, wife, parents, children or friends. It is your fault if you are not able to manage your own personal life, so you should never blame the sangha. The sangha is giving you the Dharma and then you can use that Dharma to solve your problems and more importantly, to solve the most important problem of birth and death.

The role of the sangha is not to approve you or to solve your emotional chaos. You are the one who should solve your own problems by using the Dharma offered so generously by the sangha and/or by simply going to a doctor and by taking good care of yourself. If we use the sangha for worldly goals and our ego centered need for attention and approval and we are not satisfied with the Dharma and the correction of our teachers and Dharma colleagues, then we create the karma of not deserving the sangha and the Three Treasures.

Be grateful when you meet a true sangha where the true teaching is taught because such a sangha is hard to meet in many lifetimes. Don’t miss the opportunity to listen to the Dharma. Don’t think you have other needs than hearing the Dharma.

(fragment from a letter to a friend)