Lavinia Parvu- When love hurts, tears are
forgotten
- "I am sorry I cannot even make you understand what
is happening inside of my head. I cannot make myself understand
either."
This was the start and the end of their discussion. A
discussion which started naively from the very first beginning.
From the time they first met and shaked gently their hands. A time
when she opened to himself like a rich shell full with pearls. When
she let herself read by him as if she was a cheap book and rejected
by every reader.
But none of them had the guts to start at that time
this postponed discussion, because they were busy taking care of
their bodies and hearts. He was hungry for her look and mind. She
was desperate for the heat given by his body.
- "I don't know what to say", he replied scared but
in the same time awared that he is sharing silently the same
thoughts.
- "It's okay", she barely replied. "I know what we
are, and I know what we are not."
He was impressed for her courage to end up this
vicious circle. He loved her for her courage to swallow all the
dirt and mud and still smile. Still showing nobody what is inside
her broken heart. Only he knew everything about her. And he felt
the need to protect her from herself from the very beginning.
Because he knew what kind of deep suffering she can cause to
herself.
- "I miss you when I can sleep. Or right after
coffee. Or right when I can't eat. It's too much wish and too less
physical presence. That is the biggest reason why I cannot continue
anymore", and a river of tears began to flow on her
face.
She is sick of bury her feelings all the time with
red wine and toxic cigarettes. She wants normal relationship and
strong legs to carry her heavy body full of
thoughts.
He is in a continuous worried wood, especially
because he was expecting something else in his life, something
simple. But she happened in a miraculous way and ruined his all
wishes about life and what love is really about. Beeing in this
mood, he continued with his share of feelings:
- "From the time I've met you, I live for your drunk
texts. I want to know that when you're surrounded by pretty girls
and your best friends, you can still feel my absence. You are still
loving me then. I don't want you to forget me. I don't want to
forget what happened between us. Because our memories together are
the most valuable things for me."
- "I will never forget. I will keep forever in my
heart the memory of us, remebering the way we used to look at each
other. The memory of your eyes. Those damn eyes which made me
completely free."
And with this ended something which never
started.
By the time she was preparing to move away, she
whispered gently:
- "You will become a story that I could not tell
anyone."
