In England, however, it was another matter completely. Going
on a vacation in another country, which in most cases means it's
some place where the people are more civilized and the laws are
actually followed, I always go into this self-conscious state of
mind and actively think about what I'm doing and if it's the right
way to do it. Things like jaywalking, littering, smoking in public
spaces or, I don't know, pissing in a corner, are straight up life
in jail sentences in my mind.
So, yeah, there I was overthinking what to do with this gum
that I chewed on for the past half an hour, since there was no way
I would just throw it on the sidewalk and move on. It was kind of
late at that time, but people were still present on the streets and
my idea was to at least throw the gum when it was just me and the
other people in my group. But I made a bad call, thinking that a
trash can would show up soon, so I took the gum out of my mouth and
held it in my palm with false hope.
As we continued walking, gum in hand and no god damned trash
can in sight, I seized an opportunity when we took a right turn and
saw no people roaming on the street ahead. Even better, a sewer
grate would cross my path in just a few steps, so that was the
perfect moment.
Aim, shoot, miss. The stupid gum was now too sticky to roll
into the fathoms of the sewer and it remained there, glued to one
of the grates and sticking out like a star on the night sky. But
the mission was completed, at least. No one saw me do it and it was
almost perfect.
Why I felt an irrational uneasiness about it, soon became
clear to me with an even more irrational turn of events. When I
raised my head to look away from the sticky gum, my head turned
left towards the store we were passing by at that time.
There he was, smiling right at me and his eyes piercing
through my soul, dressed in blue overalls while holding a hammer to
show he is a working man. I knew he must have seen me, specifically
smiling to let me know he knows what I did, even though that was
actually impossible. It was a god damned cardboard cut out of a
man, lifesized and placed in the shopfront, right there where I
chose to break the law. And I hated him so great, I wanted to break
the glass and tear him apart.
Don't you look at me, Cardboard man!
