as cliché as this might sound, everything is different when someone you care about dies. there is not only the pain and the loss that devour your everyday life, but also a lot of adjusting. adapt and reconcile. with your old life, yet you fail to do so, no matter how fiercely and obstinately you try, since there is no more old you. everything is changed. and everything hurts. even music. it's surprising to see how sad i get when i listen to one of the happiest songs i know only because my dad liked it.