1. Hopelessness: Belief that the desired goal is not achievable regardless of your capabilities.
2. Helplessness: Belief that the desired goal is possible but that you are not capable of achieving it.
3. Worthlessness: Belief that you do not deserve the desired goal because of something you are or have (not)
done.
Hopelessness occurs when someone does not believe a particular desired goal is even possible. It is characterized by a sense that,
"No matter what I do it won't make a difference. What I want is not possible to get. It's out of my control. I'm a victim.''
Helplessness occurs when, even though he or she believes that the outcome exists and is possible to achieve, a person does not believe that he or she is capable of attaining it. It produces a sense that,
"It's possible for others to achieve this goal but not for me. I'm not good enough or capable enough to
accomplish it."
Worthlessness occurs when, even though a person may believe that the desired goal is possible and that he or she even has the capability to accomplish it, that individual believes that he or she doesn't deserve to get what he/she wants. It is often characterized by a sense that,
"I am a fake. I don't belong. I don't deserve to be happy or healthy. There is
something basically and fundamentally wrong with me as a person and I deserve the pain and suffering that I am experiencing."
To be successful, people need to shift these types of limiting beliefs to beliefs involving hope for the future, a sense of capability and responsibility, and a sense of self-worth and belonging.
Obviously, the most pervasive beliefs are those regarding our identity. Some examples of limiting beliefs about identity are:
"I am helpless I worthless I am victim. I don't deserve to succeed. If I get what I want I will lose something. I don't have permission to succeed."
Limiting beliefs sometimes operate like a "thought virus" with a destructive capability similar to that of a computer virus or biological virus. A 'thought virus' is a limiting belief that can become a 'self-fulfilling prophesy' and interfere with one's efforts and ability to heal or improve.
Thought viruses contain unspoken assumptions and presuppositions which make them difficult to identify and challenge. Frequently, the most influential beliefs are often out of our awareness.
Limiting beliefs and thought viruses often arise as seemingly insurmountable "impasses" to the process of change. At such an impasse, a person will feel, "I've tried everything to change this and nothing works." Dealing effectively with impasses involves finding the limiting belief that is at their core, and holding them in place.
Ultimately, we transform limiting belief's and become 'immunized' to 'thought viruses' by expanding and enriching our models of the world, and becoming clearer about our identities and missions. Limiting beliefs, for instance, are often developed in order to fulfill a positive purpose, such as, protection, establishing boundaries, feeling a sense of personal power, etc.
By acknowledging these deeper intentions and updating our mental maps to include other, more effective ways to fulfill those intentions, beliefs can often be changed with a minimum amount of effort and pain.
Robert Dilts "Sleight of Mouth"
